


Their Friend Is Gone What Happens Next Will Shock You

by imjusttheoutgoingsidekick



Category: Looking for Alaska - John Green
Genre: :), First Kiss, Idiots in Love, Introspection, M/M, also just plain idiots, avoid your triggers, but I'm all about safety for fanfic readers, but honestly if you're reading this, love you guys, miles thinks a lot, no one writes for this so I was like fuck it I'm doing it, that means you've read the book and the book has all that in it, they make out a little, warnings for drinking and smoking and cussing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-15
Updated: 2019-01-15
Packaged: 2019-10-10 18:18:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17431049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imjusttheoutgoingsidekick/pseuds/imjusttheoutgoingsidekick
Summary: I swear this story is so much better than it's title.Miles does some thinking, in regards to his roommate and their friendship.





	Their Friend Is Gone What Happens Next Will Shock You

**Author's Note:**

> oof this is actually pretty good but the title and tags and summary are just really bad

I was laying on my bottom bunk, barely awake but not asleep either. The intense heat of Alabama was overwhelming. I had stripped down to my underwear, and every inch of skin on me stuck to the vinyl of the mattress. The Colonel was out for a smoke, decidedly without me. We had fought earlier, about Alaska as always. It had been some time since we had done that. After I wrote my paper, I had accepted that she was gone for good and submitted to my fate. 

But then the Colonel, being the moody ass he was had gotten drunk. Normally he was a quiet drunk, or if he had had enough, a rambling drunk. This time he was just angry. I had come in with a couple of white daffodils I had come across on my way back from a trip to the swing by the lake. He was nursing that damn jug of Ambrosia he always had in our fridge, and I walked over to him, silently holding out the flower.

He took it, his eyes glassy as he stared up at me. "She's gone Pudge," he said. "She's gone. These flowers aren't some sign, they aren't her ghost. They aren't Alaska."

He tossed the flower back at me and things just escalated from there, until I was shouting at him for assuming things about me and what I felt, and he was screaming back just as loud that Alaska was never mine.

And I knew it. I knew she wasn't mine.

I rolled over, pain shooting through me as I became unstuck from that stupid vinyl mattress. I pulled on jeans and a T-Shirt, grabbing box of cigarettes, one I had hidden, and headed out to the smoking hole. I expected to find him there, but instead I was delightfully alone. I lit a cigarette and started off, following the path . I smoked and thought until I was left with a cigarette butt in my hand and a near migraine in my head. I kept walking, kicking rocks into the stream as I went.

Through the trees I could see the sun was beginning to set. I felt a cool breeze on my skin, a stark contrast to the sweltering Alabama summer. I took a stick and traced flowers in the dirt, the gears in my mind turning much faster than I wanted them to. Before I knew it the sun had fully set and the mosquitoes were eating me up and I had to get back inside.

I made my way back to room 43, looking up at the stars. I stepped inside and was his with the smell of smoke. The Colonel looked up at me for a moment before jumping up. He was right in front of me in no time flat. "WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU?" He shoved me against the door, grabbing the collar of my shirt in his fists. "I looked  _ everywhere _ for you."

I was pissed off with a major headache, and this wasn't helping any of it. "What do you care," I tried to brush past him but he slammed me back against the door.

"What do I care? What do  _ I _ care?" He took a step back and crossed his arms, "you think I don't fucking  _ care _ ? You're all I've got, asshole. The real question is what do you care. You mope and you smoke like Alaska was the only thing that mattered in life. You only think about yourself," he spat. "I've got a newsflash for you, other people have problems too."

That's what broke me. I stepped forward, grabbing his shoulders and shoving him against the wall. I drew my fist back, aiming to punch. I stared him down.

"Do it," he narrowed his eyes at me. "Alaska would."

_ Alaska would. What would Alaska do… she would… go with her gut. _

I surged forward, pressing my lips to his. I couldn't believe I was actually doing this. Thoughts rushed through my head, but before I could process them, I pulled away. I stumbled back, falling onto the floor. "SHIT!" I shut my eyes, "Shit, Chip, I'm so sorry. I-" I gasped, choking on my words. "Please, don't hate me." I stayed on the floor, waiting for something to happen. It seemed like forever, and then I heard him laugh.

I looked up at him. He was smiling wider than I'd ever seen and laughing quietly to himself. I stood up, "I'm sorry I'll go."

He just shook his head, "how could I hate you, you asshole?"

"What- you don't?"

"No, I could never hate you. Like I said, you're all I've got." He stepped towards me, "and I don't think I'd mind doing that again."

He put a hand behind my neck and pulled us together, pushing me backwards onto the couch. I gasped and he used that to push his tongue past my lips. I sighed, winding my fingers through his hair. He ended up in my lap, more or less, his knees places on either side of my thighs. One of his hands trailed under my shirt and I shivered, moving to do the same to him. We broke apart for air, grinning like idiots. He buried his face in the space where my neck met my shoulder, almost shyly. It was a side of him I'd never seen before, and I was pretty sure I liked it.

We fell asleep like that, his hands place loosely on my hips, his breath warm against my neck. I thought about Alaska, what she would say, and I thought about Chip. He had been there for me this whole time, and I was so much more than grateful. Alaska was never the one for me. It was my dumbass roommate, the one who had been right in front of face this whole time.

It was quiet as I whispered three little words into the dark.

"I love you."

**Author's Note:**

> I tried to stay true to charater???


End file.
